I am who I am
Easter in Royal Oak, Detroit. Royal Oak is a reasonably
well-to-do bit of Detroit, all futon shops and oyster bars.
Eminem lives 30 minutes' drive away, in Manchester Heights,
the very well-to-do bit of Detroit. He's running late. He's
bleaching his hair. A record company person has bought boxes
of clothes Eminem might like to be photographed in. There's
a selection of T-shirts bearing silly slogans: "I *
Groupies", "Stop Looking At My Crotch" and
so on. It's hoped he might wear one that says "I Fucked
A Backstreet Boy". Eminem's manager, Paul Rosenberg,
isn't so sure. "I think we're over the whole Backstreet
Boys thing," he says. "We've moved on."
Eminem (28) eventually rolls in with daughter Hailie (6),
brother Nathan (16) and Bizarre, Kuniva and Proof, members
of D12, his doughy-looking rap crew of childhood pals. It's
a modern family and that's the way Eminem likes it. He looks
well. Hailie trails beside him with a carrier bag of colouring
books. Nathan is Eminem's very own Mini-Me - bottle-blonde
hair, fast-food complexion, D12 diamond pendant round his
neck. Burger King is ordered.
Eminem sits on a couch and picks at his meal. He's not
happy. "Look at that! Goddamn." The fries carton
is suspiciously half-full. Brother Nathan has beaten him
to the food: "Little son of a bitch." A presidential
Rolex hangs from his wrist, a gift from his record label
after Eminem had, jokingly, rung up to complain that fellow
Detroit popstar Kid Rock had been given a similar watch
as a Christmas present from his record label. He's also
got a new tattoo, a rather spooky likeness of Hailie, on
his right forearm. He belches loudly. "Excuse me."
The Guardian: On parts of your new album, The Eminem
Show, you sound angrier than ever.
Eminem: Yeah, it's funny. It's like I need
drama in my life to inspire me a lot, instead of just trying
to reach for something. Last year was, like, a really rough
year for me. You know, divorce and trying to raise my little
girl. Obstacles are thrown at me - you've just got to fall
or you don't fall. And I can't fall.
The Guardian: Cleaning Out My Closet is the harshest
attack on your mother yet.
Eminem: Yeah . . . It's a harsh record but
I feel like my mother has done some harsh things to me.
You just try your whole life to be able to get away from
that person and make a life for yourself and not have to
deal with it anymore. And it's so hard to break away. And
they keep coming back to haunt you, trying to weasel their
way into your life somehow. That's my closure song, I guess.
It's like I'm washing my hands of it. I'm cleaning out my
closet. I'm done
The Guardian: What has your mother done this time?
Eminem: Well, she started wanting to put
her face out there and get famous off of what I've done.
Every time I would see her on TV, or I'd see my father on
TV, I'd be, like, "What are you doing? Like, leave
me alone!" Do you know what I'm saying? That's all
I ever asked. Like, "Take your crazy asses and just
stay where you're at." It got to a point where I stopped
subscribing to the Detroit News because every day I'd be
in the papers for something. I'd be like, "What the
fuck? How is this newsworthy?" You know: "Eminem
Takes A Shit", and there's a picture of me in the paper
wiping my ass. When I moved from one house to the next,
a news crew would follow me. And it would be the top story
on the news. Then they'd go into (newsreader's voice): "Six
kids got murdered in Detroit today . . ."
The Guardian: How do you feel about the outcome
of last year's court cases? Do you think you were fortunate?
Eminem: I was lucky because of who I am.
They could have easily made an example out of me, but also,
it got so much attention. Like anybody else this would have
happened to would have got a slap on the wrist and probation.
But, of course, I am who I am.
The Guardian: No drinking, no fighting, no purple
pills - is that the deal with probation?
Eminem: Yeah. I can drink, but moderately.
Which I really ... I won't say I don't ... but I haven't
done for a long time. I almost wonder, do I see a reason
to even start back again I've been clean for so long? I'm
able to do things that a couple of years ago I couldn't
do without freaking out. You know, trying to take care of
a little girl and trying to do the daddy things and trying
to make the music, and do the press, and trying to juggle
all these things at once.
The Guardian: Do you think you mother will leave you
alone now?
Eminem: (Thinks) Nah. I could have dragged
that out forever if I wanted to. I was just like, "Shut
up and leave me alone, freak." Whether it's for a dollar
or $10m, you're still suing your son. It doesn't matter.
The damage is done. I don't know if she's happy with the
money. I've heard that her lawyer took most of it and left
her with a couple of grand. The court cases keep coming,
though. If you have nothing else and you haven't made nothing
with your life, then what the fuck? Why not? If Eminem says
my name on a record, why not get money, if you have nothing
else? What the fuck? I'd do it.
The Guardian: How many times have you been in love?
Eminem: Once. And that's enough for me.
The Guardian: When you first became really famous
you said you were going to have to leave Detroit. But you're
still here, and you've made a movie about it.
Eminem: Yeah, I'm comfortable now. It's died
down but who knows what's gonna happen now? It's like, you
put a fucking album out and your face starts being everywhere
and suddenly people remember you again and camp outside
your house. You know, it's like a love-hate relationship
where I come from. Which is, you know, what most rappers
will tell you.
The Guardian: How do you think 8 Mile will affect
Detroit?
Eminem: You know, I would love to see this
city bring its income up and everything. And if I can help
that, then that's great. Some local people don't seem very
happy. Fuck them. Everybody sees something wrong with everything
I do. I read so much bickering shit in the paper. (Redneck
voice) "My daughter waited for ages to see Eminem and
he drove by us and he waved and then he sent somebody back
and gave my daughter a T-shirt" - which I did - "but
he wouldn't even sign it." What? What the fuck? Yeah,
we shut down some areas [to make the film] and people were
complaining. "Oh, they're giving Warren a bad name."
Giving Warren a bad name? The fucking white-trash capital
of the world? I'm white trash, so what the fuck? You can't
tell me. I grew up in it. You're gonna say I'm giving the
city a bad name? Dummy, the city already has a bad name.
"You made the trailer park dirtier than it was. You
created extra dirt!" Shut the fuck up!
The Guardian: Some Eminem rumours put to rest (sort
of). That he's had a fling with Destiny's Child's Beyoncé.
Eminem: No, me and Beyoncé are not
fucking. I wish. She's beautiful. All of Destiny's Child
are beautiful. Oh, I love Beyoncé.
The Guardian: That he's having a fling with Kim Basinger:
Eminem: Um, no, we're not fucking either.
In the movie [8 Mile, in which Kim Basinger plays his mother]
there's a scene where we kiss. She kissed me like a mother
would kiss a son. It was in the rehearsal. And the next
day it was in the paper that we were seen kissing on set
and holding hands and all this dumb shit. (Thinks) I would
love to, though.
The Guardian: That Debbie Mathers wanted Kim Basinger's
part in 8 Mile?
Eminem: What? That's retarded. What kind
of fucking sense does that make? I don't know if she did
or not. I know that she was bitching about Kim Basinger
playing my mother and was calling the movie people. They
were, like, "Yo, your mother keeps threatening to sue
us." I'm like, "Does she know that I'm not playing
me in the film? I'm, like, playing a kid named Jimmy?"
The Guardian: That he's addicted to painkillers?
Eminem: Oh. Nah. That's untrue. Vitamins,
maybe. I take my one a day. And Echinacea. And vitamin C.
Then there's my little heroin problem, but I won't talk
about that 'cause I'm on probation and shit. But I do shoot
up, like, a lot. I have no veins left. They're all collapsed
so I shoot up through my dick. But hey, who doesn't?
The Guardian: That he's dead?
Eminem: Now that's true. I'm chilling on
my island somewhere, drinking piña coladas.
The Guardian: That he's recorded a charity song
with Limp Bizkit called New World Order. Fred Durst raps
the part of an American GI, Eminem raps the part of Osama
bin Laden?
Eminem: I wouldn't do a fucking record with
Limp Bizkit. If I was on the fucking plane that was crashing.
Eminem finishes having his photograph taken. It's time
to go. There's an album to be completed. He rounds up his
friends and relations and says his goodbyes. The last time
we see him he's walking side-by-side with Hailie. Hailie's
holding a giant toy bunny in one hand and a Smarties McFlurry
in the other. Nathan is jumping on Proof's back. Proof is
complaining that Nathan is trying to "bum" him.
It's a modern family. And that's the way Eminem likes it.
- by The Guardian